My house can get messy. There’s unfolded laundry, dishes in the sink, toys not too far from reach, dirty laundry in separate piles, and an area designated for tasks to tackle. Naturally, my mind can get messy too.
A Messy Home
I can get drained from it. It’s like this constant cycle of cleaning… after cleaning, after cleaning. So did I really clean (laughs)? Amongst juggling all the things I do, I try my best to keep up with the day to day chores. However, it can be difficult to manage when the day to day becomes overwhelming such as sickness, picking up hours at work, family events, etc.
Although I expected parenthood and partnership to cause some messiness, it can be tiresome. But that’s okay. Not only that. It’s okay to be messy.
Growing up, my older sister and I cleaned a lot. We cleaned so much that I enjoyed wiping the walls with a cloth and some soap/water… on my own time, without having to be asked to do it. Tell me I didn’t go outside much without telling me I didn’t go outside much (laughs)! Not to mention, we didn’t get to open all our toys. They’d sit on the shelves to collect dust. We were only allowed several toys. The rest would be donated.
Maybe that’s why I freak out inside when I see my daughter’s toys on the floor throughout the house… I know my mom does (laughs). Nonetheless, it makes me feel grateful too. I know my parents didn’t want a messy home and it’s not like we didn’t have any toys. We were just limited to the ones we could play with. Honestly speaking too, I can see why they didn’t let us open all our toys… I wouldn’t have either, knowing what I know now (laughs).
I’m grateful that we grew up having toys and that Valkyrie has toys too. I remind myself that there aren’t a lot of kids out there that have toys. Because of these toys, Valkyrie’s grown so much! Furthermore, I’m happy that I have a family to clean up after.
A Clean Home
Now that I’ve experienced living outside of my parents’ home for some time, I’m thankful that my parents taught us how to clean. Cleaning taught us how to take care of ourselves, and now, others.
Valkyrie’s learning too. Even though she can struggle to understand or chooses when to clean up (a toddler’s selective listening, as you may know), she still does it. Recently she’s been saying, “Help you? Help you?” as I clean, especially in the kitchen. She’ll quickly drag her chair or toddler stool towards the kitchen. It makes me proud as a mama because not only is she willing to help me, she’s thinking about the act of helping me. She’ll also sing, “Clean up, clean up, everybody clean up,” as she walks around the house collecting her toys.
Our version of a clean home is partially clean. As soon as I think it’s clean, it’ll get dirty somehow. Suddenly there’s a load of laundry to wash, a pile of dishes to be done, or toys to be put away. So, I give myself grace. While our home may not be entirely clean, it’s still clean (laughs). We do what we can, when we can.
A Messy Mind vs A Clean Mind
I’m definitely someone who enjoys a clean home before I can do anything. It’s like washing the dishes when there are already dry dishes on the drying rack. Wouldn’t you put the dry dishes away first before starting the dirty dishes? If you don’t, the dry dishes will get wet again. It bothers me when our home is dirty as I have a list of tasks to tackle. I need to clean first, and like I mentioned before, our home is never truly clean (laughs).
Since having a daughter, I made a habit to tuck in our home at night. This means picking up the toys, having no dishes in the sink, clean floors, and everything else! It feels good waking up to a clean home. Does it always happen? No. And that’s okay. Not to mention, I’ve noticed a higher likelihood of Valkyrie playing with her toys when the house is clean too. If her toys are all over the place, she won’t bother with them… until I’m asking her to pick them up.
Starting the day or starting a task while our home’s clean clears my mind. I know my family is loved, and our home too. It gives me peace of mind and allows me to get my work done without feeling swamped.
Home Is Home
A messy home is only for a moment. It’ll pass. So, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or frustrated with it. It’s also okay to be with it from time to time.
I’m grateful that I have a job, which pays me money, that pays for food and shelter, so that my family can eat and live comfortably. I’m happy that I have a home and a family, even though it can get messy.
