Valkyrie is officially four months old! These past four months passed by quickly. There was so much that Shiina and I learned as parents. Valkyrie had a lot to learn as well. Continue reading about our first four months with a baby!
Getting Ourselves Ready For a Baby
Before Valkyrie was born, Shiina and I spoke about what chores we were responsible for, like who would take out the trash or do the laundry. This way, we each knew what we had to do and didn’t have to worry about something not being done. Of course, we aren’t strict on it. For example, Shiina typically takes care of the trash and recycles, but I would do that too.
We also discussed our expectations for each other. I’d take care of Valkyrie during the day while Shiina would take over at night. We prepared ourselves and our schedules based on what we discussed.
Shiina and I talked through what we wanted for our baby as well. We knew that we weren’t accepting visitors due to the pandemic and for personal reasons. We both wanted to be present at every appointment, if possible, and so much more.
All of these are constantly changing as we learn more about parenting and make adjustments. We communicate on what we need from each other and how we can help each other too. That’s what’s most important!
Aside from all of that, we got ourselves ready by setting things up ahead of time too. Thankfully we moved into our new home two weeks before Valkyrie arrived. I was in full blown nesting mode, so everything was prepared. This was incredibly helpful! I don’t think we could’ve done it if things weren’t in place, set to go! It made our adjustment to life with a newborn a lot easier. I’m sure it helped our baby too.
The First Few Weeks
The first few weeks with Valkyrie weren’t difficult. Valkyrie slept a lot! We’d wake her up for diaper changes and feedings. It was because we’d wake her up that she had a consistent schedule. She eventually started to wake up on her own every two to three hours, around the same time each day.
The only difficult part of the first few weeks for me was nursing, pumping, healing, and sleeping. I explain in depth the start to my breastfeeding journey here. Nursing was draining for me, mentally and physically. I couldn’t get any sleep and I felt anxious, thinking my daughter wasn’t getting enough milk, so I decided that exclusively pumping was best. This way, I could monitor how much I was pumping and how much she was eating.
Exclusively pumping is tough since I don’t directly feed her from my breasts and am pumping all the time to maintain my supply. I spend time pumping, putting the milk away, and clean pump parts. Spending time on this doesn’t give me enough time to bond with my baby or allow me to soothe her the way she needs sometimes. For instance, Valkyrie loves when we walk around so that she can fall asleep. This was hard to do as my breast pump had to be plugged into the outlet and I had bottles hanging from my breasts. Now that we’re four months in, it’s gotten easier and my breast pump doesn’t need to be plugged in nor do I have bottles hanging from my breasts.
Shiina and I were very careful during this time, although we still are. We didn’t want anything to go wrong. We were new parents, learning how to do things, so we were extremely cautious with Valkyrie. With that being said, there were people in our lives suggesting how we should parent. Advice is always appreciated, but suddenly these suggestions became expectations. If we didn’t do them then they’d get repeated until we did. It was draining.
One Month to Two Months
After the first several weeks, Valkyrie was awake more often. The routine that she had before changed, which was hard to work with as we never knew what to expect. We worked around her schedule and found what she liked. For example, she liked to be held in certain positions in order to sleep. Not to mention, we’d have to walk around. That was the best way to soothe her. Once we found all the things she preferred, everything got easier!
During this time, we had several first experiences. We went to stores together, visited family, walked around our neighborhood, and more. This is when we started having family days too. Before Valkyrie was born, Shiina and I would have date days. Although we haven’t gone on a date since our baby’s been born, family days are amazing too. It was so nice to experience all of this as a family! We waited so long for these days to come and they were finally here!
At this point, we were more comfortable with our lives. Although there’s always more to learn, we were adjusted to life with a baby!
Two Months to Three Months
Valkyrie woke up early in the mornings, around the same time that I’d get up. She’d nap occasionally throughout the day, but the naps weren’t as long as before. While she was awake, we’d talk to each other, take a walk, read, and do other activities. I’ve done these activities since she was born and she loves them!
Shiina and I try to get things done while Valkyrie is sleeping or while she’s awake. If she’s awake, we’ll carry her in a carrier, put her in her rocker, or let her have some independent playtime on her playmat. Getting things done has gotten easier now that we’ve adjusted to life with a baby.
After a full day of activities and naps, she’d get a bath. Once she’d get a bath and a bottle, she’d sleep for the rest of the night! There were nights where she’d get up to feed, but she’d sleep again afterwards. This is when I ate dinner, prepared myself for bed, cleaned, and got ready for the next day.
Three Months to Four Months
At some point throughout the three to four months, Valkyrie’s sleep schedule changed. We could no longer pinpoint when she’d wake up or sleep. She’d also wake once or twice during the night, or sleep through the entire night. We couldn’t guess what it’d be. Valkyrie was awake for a longer period of time. It was like she wanted to stay up or needed something to do at all times. It wasn’t easy and it definitely took a lot of energy. Shiina and I had to help each other a lot more!
We continued to do the same activities with a mix of new ones, so there was always something new for Valkyrie to look forward to. Her baths have always been within the same hour each day, so that was the only consistent thing we had going for us. We’re hoping for a more refined routine as we move forward!
During this month, I’ve gotten better at handling trips out of the house. I know exactly what to pack. I know how to manage different situations like if Valkyrie gets tired, when I need to pump, when I need to use the restroom and more. I still get anxious about how things will go once we step out of our front door, but it gets easier each time!
I struggled personally, which I’ll share in depth soon. However, here’s a summary. I struggled with getting to know myself again and being comfortable with myself. It was difficult to find time for myself too. I felt like all there was to me was being a mother. It wasn’t so much about me being a mother that bothered me, but me being a person besides a mother. I’ll share more soon!
Recap
Now that we’re four months in, we’ve gotten this parenting thing down. We’ve figured out what works for us as well as for Valkyrie. Looking back, it makes Shiina and I sad to see her growing so quickly. We actually miss what it’s been like the past four months. However, we also look forward to the future!
It’s true what they say. Kids grow up fast! I get teary-eyed looking back at Valkyrie’s photos and videos. I’ve taken at least one picture or video a day since she’s been born. She’s grown so much! Her body features are maturing. Shiina and I have started to see what parts of ourselves are in her. She has Shiina’s hands and feet while having my nose and mouth. She’s the perfect combination of us both!
Valkyrie loves talking, even if that’s to herself. I think she gets that from both Shiina and I. We love talking too. It’s amazing to see her personality showing. She’s such a silly baby! She’s also very curious. She enjoys looking around and being out of the house. We can’t wait to see how else she grows!
