Here are five confessions I have as a pregnant woman that may not be so bright. However, I promise there are many more things I’m happy about! Everyone’s experiences differ. This is mine and by no means am I complaining. I’m simply confessing the tough times I’ve experienced throughout this journey.
Rollercoaster of Emotions
I’ve felt more emotions during this journey than I have before. I’ve felt scared, sad, happy, excited, angry, lonely, confused, and lost. These were felt at separate times, but there’d be an occasional mix. I’ve had to relearn how to cope with my emotions. To do this, I journaled and reviewed how I was doing weekly/monthly. I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling, because I didn’t want anything to linger. It’s only allowed me to become a better version of myself. I can’t forget to mention my incredible support system too. They’ve helped me through these times.
Loneliness and Pains
There were times during this pregnancy that I felt the most alone. This is my first pregnancy, so although I was filled with happiness and excitement, I was terrified. I was afraid of all the unknowns. I didn’t know anyone else who was going through the same things as I was, so it was hard to talk about it. When people asked how I was doing, it was difficult to explain how I was feeling and what I was going through. Eventually I became comfortable with expressing myself for how I truly felt and I realized that I wasn’t alone. I appreciated talking about how I felt with those who’ve experienced what I have too.
Loneliness hit the hardest during the painful moments like the aches, nausea, nerve pains, and swelling. It became repetitive and so difficult that I wouldn’t know how to express it to those I love. I also didn’t want to worry or burden loved ones with it. I couldn’t find comfort and it was hard to cope. I would be frustrated with not being able to do things as I used to or not being able to do anything at all. It wasn’t just a physical challenge anymore, but a mental one too. I kept thinking to myself that it was worth it because it was for my baby. My baby was the one that kept me going. I quickly learned how to ask for help and that it was okay to. I had my amazing partner and loved ones to go through this with.
Influence of Others
I’ve found it difficult to communicate with others without judgment. These judgments come from being a first time parent and a young parent. I feel that I’m expected to do something rather than take advice and suggestions into consideration. It’s overwhelming and draining. However, I’m growing the confidence within me and in the parent I envision to be.
Are we having another child soon? This one isn’t even out of the oven yet! I can appreciate the question and curiosity surrounding this topic, but I can do without it. We plan to have more children, but they will come when it’s their time.
I haven’t appreciated people telling me that my life is over or that my freedom is being taken. Some people feel differently about this, but I don’t. My life has only gotten better and my freedom is the same. What I want in my life, which includes my child, will still happen.
The People In My Life
Throughout this journey, I’ve recognized the people in my life for who they truly are. I’ve learned that the people I portrayed one way were the opposite of that. I also noticed the people who’ve always been there for me and appreciated them a lot more.
Balance of Life
Finding a balance between many things in my life became harder to do. I was adjusting to the new life I had with my partner. Not to mention, I was still a student and involved in several organizations on campus. There were other responsibilities I had as well. It was difficult to manage and overwhelming at times. However, I learned a lot from this experience. I’ve learned how to better prioritize, manage my time wisely, seek help, and communicate.
The most important thing I learned from this was the value of taking care of myself. I gave myself breaks and time for self care. I tried not to be too hard on myself for things I wasn’t able to get done and recognized what things I’ve accomplished. In addition, I stopped caring for what others had to say or for what others thought. Letting things go became easier.
These are five confessions of a pregnant woman, which were also learning lessons. Why did I share this? I want others to know that they aren’t alone and that there are people who’ve experienced this as well. Not to mention, it’s important to recognize that every person and every pregnancy journey is different. I’m thankful for what I’ve learned and for the growth I’ve had during this time. I’m a new person because of it.
