For what seemed like forever, everyone wanted a boy. The pressure of that weight dawned on me too. What’re my chances of having a boy in the future? While it didn’t matter to me what the sex of my children would be, I felt as though I was carrying everyone else’s hopes.
When I saw “Boy” marked on the card, I thought to myself, “I knew it!” I thought that’d be it. It got deeper than that, which I didn’t expect. Suddenly I was crying. The weight of everyone’s hopes lifted and I didn’t know why I felt that way. They weren’t even mine! It was all entirely their own. I was only carrying it as if it were mine too.
I imagined the excitement of my parents, their dreams of having a boy. I considered loved ones and how they may feel once we revealed we were expecting a boy. I thought about my in-laws and the impact of having a son. I smiled into my partner’s eyes and pictured a mini version of him. I stared at my daughter, fantasizing their play dates.
This idea of having a boy was never a light topic for me, someone who has two sisters, hearing everyone telling my parents to try for a boy. Eventually, everyone was telling my partner and I to try for another kid – some saying to try for a boy. You can imagine how heavy this can be.
Again, it never mattered to me what my children’s sex is. All these hopes weren’t mine to carry. But am I happy to have a son? You bet! Just for different reasons. Not only do I get to see my partner as a girl dad, now I get to see him as a boy dad! I get to see my little girl be a big sister to her baby brother. I also have another baby, someone I’ve waited for. And that’s all that matters.
