I heard “Your dreams are over,” or “Your freedom is gone,” when I was pregnant with my first. Oh, how I took this literally even though my thoughts opposed these beliefs. Now I laugh at these comments three years into motherhood. The reality, or at least mine, is that my dreams haven’t ended. Now I have more people to share it with and who better than my kids? And my freedom being gone? (laughs) Where exactly? I never understood that. I’m chasing dreams while chasing children.
Early Motherhood
When I discovered my first pregnancy, I was finishing my last semester in college. I didn’t know which direction I was headed. This was unlike me. I’ve always had a plan and having a child, let alone committing to someone or attending aesthetics school, was not part of it – at least where I was in my life at that time. I was gifted with more than I could’ve imagined. In ways, however, this impacted parts of my life as well as who I am.
I not only birthed a child but an entirely different version of myself, all while exploring careers. The pressure and rush to figure out my life now that I’m a mama felt intense. Not to mention, the changes happening within my body. I wrote about my postpartum experiences here. In today’s piece, I’ll discuss my professional journey while being a mother.
Before graduating aesthetics school, I secured a position as an esthetician. (Later receiving a real estate salesperson license too, but I won’t get into that career here.) I’m grateful for the opportunities of this position and location. Still, I didn’t see the growth as I intended. Although it had been nearly three years, I don’t think I was aligned there.
I had a high level of flexibility in my schedule. It had its perks, but it didn’t help with consistency of income or a schedule. With a kid and living 45 minutes out of the city, that wasn’t sustainable. Moreover, I advocated for circumstances to be better. There were promises that these would improve. This is where I felt stuck, staying because of empty assurances. Over time I didn’t see progress or growth. This affected my mental and physical health, and again, income. I told myself many times that I’d depart, until one day when I seriously considered it. Then, I discovered I was pregnant with my second kid. It was only about job security at that point. My admiration for esthetics disappeared. I questioned it daily. The treatments weren’t the types I intended to offer. The only fact that I didn’t question was my dedication to help people.
All of these experiences made me question my worth too. The amount of sadness, confusion, anger, fear, and disappointment I felt within myself weighed heavily. This isn’t what or where I pictured myself. Sure, it wasn’t horrible. Again, I’m grateful. Don’t get me wrong. Things could be a lot worse. I know that. But it didn’t mean that all things felt good all the time. I wanted to do good, to be good, for myself and my family. I felt like a failure, as a professional, as a mama, as a partner, and as a person.
So while it seems as though I was accomplishing one thing to the next, parts of me were struggling internally. I was praying my children wouldn’t catch wind of it. My partner certainly had a front row seat to it. I thought I was a failure because I wasn’t reaching my professional goals, couldn’t provide, felt mom-guilt, and I wasn’t sure who I’d become. Raising children is tough enough. Putting a deadline to figuring out my life was pushing it.
I learned that I don’t need to pressure or rush myself. Although I want to give everything I can to my kids – time to be with them and time to make money for them, I simply can’t do both at the same time. So, I’ve separated the two. What’s the point in feeling bad for either when with either? “I should be working right now,” when with my kids, or “I should’ve stayed home today,” when at work. It doesn’t serve anything or anyone.
A New Beginning
I finally called it quits once my son was born. Literally. I quit. Who would I be to stand in my own way, or let an entity/others stand in my way? I needed to do this. I cried too much during my pregnancies to deserve any of this, and my children certainly didn’t deserve it.
Not only did I quit my job, I moved to a new city and found two new jobs. I signed with a different spa and became an esthiology instructor! Since, I’ve seen the number 111 daily in a variety of ways. This angel number signifies:
- Manifestation energy: Affirming that my thoughts are currently manifesting into reality at a rapid pace, focusing on what I want and not what I fear.
- New beginnings and opportunities: The universe has created a fresh start for me and it’s an ideal time to start anew.
- Spiritual alignment: I’m in alignment with my path and my angels are encouraging me to move forward
“Finally!” is the word I’d use if I had to describe how I feel with one word, like my internal/external work and thoughts are coming to fruition. I’m sure the future will change, but I’m in no rush to get there. Right now, I’m where I’m meant to be. Being where I am has allowed me to grow in my field by reviewing esthetics curriculum, learning what’s trending in the industry, and elevating my practice in the treatment room. Not to mention, how to manage a classroom with different learning styles. Most importantly, I can be a mom and feel good about where I am professionally.
My passion for esthetics was buried somewhere underneath the harshness and doubt. Nonetheless, it rose back quickly after practicing my craft again and especially while teaching it. Each day I wake up excited to coach students and I look forward to being in the treatment room. I’ve missed this. This is what and how I intend to move, where nothing, especially myself, becomes a question.
My team and the students I work with affirm their joy of having me in the classroom. It’s validating to hear that the work I do, whether delivering educational content or building relationships with students, is targeting academic and professional success. Additionally, it feels so good to be in a treatment room this way. I can perform my art without limitations and create an elevated experience for guests, making a difference in their lives… and their skin (laughs).
The Work Doesn’t Go Unnoticed
I’m honored to share that I’ve been nominated for the 2026 Madison’s People’s Choice Esthetician. To move into the voting phase, I must place in the Top 5 with the most nominations by May 31.
Being nominated is such an incredible accomplishment. The work that I do each day, whether working with students or guests, is being recognized, and it brings warmth to my heart knowing that. I strive each day to make an impact, while being impacted. And here we are.
It would mean so much to me to move forward into the voting phase. I’m asking you to help me get there! Please vote for me with this link. To nominate: People > Estheticians > Angela Yang – Kneaded Relief Day Spa & Wellness / Institute of Beauty and Wellness
As I always say, it isn’t that I chose esthetics. Esthetics chose me. It’s a privilege to share this with my kids.
The Dreams of Others
Since we’re on the topic of dreams, let’s save the beauty and wellness industry together, to save the dreams of others! Proposed federal regulations could significantly impact our industry and its success, affecting businesses, individuals, and schools. For instance, beauty schools are at risk of losing access to financial aid, directly impacting education access, hiring opportunities, team operations, and long-term business sustainability. Here’s a short video summarizing the proposed rule.
What can you do? You can leave a comment by May 20.
I share this with you, and not lightly. I strongly believe in advocating as well as protecting our industry, which is:
- Female dominant
- Part-time and flexible schedules
- Working mothers and non-traditional full-time schedules
- The diversity within our industry
- The high rate of entrepreneurship
- Access to school funding, influencing the performance of beauty/wellness schools, which then shapes the future of licensing, affecting the economy of our industry
- Employment and income opportunities for all team members of a business, thus impacting guest experiences and affordability and affecting business operations
Can you see the domino effect this proposed ruling causes? Let’s stand together today!
